If I were to write a short and ‘sweet’ letter to the Creators of Elf On The Shelf, I think it’d go something like this….
Dear Creators of Elf On The Shelf,
Take it back…just take it back. (Middle finger gesture).
No hard feelings – but this mama is done with the Elf.
Saying you aren’t going to be doing Elf On The Shelf out loud to another mom is like admitting you brought a bottle of wine to your son’s soccer game. Which I did one time, purely by accident, because my BFF stashed a travel size in my diaper bag after a dinner party for giggles. Don’t judge me. I didn’t open it, jeez.
What do you mean you don’t want to scour Pinterest for hours and hours researching ideas for your Elf to do each night, setting a timer each morning for when you forget to move him, and then clean up the mess you purposely made as your children were sleeping, while they are at school/napping?
I’m too busy for this ‘helping’ Elf. I wish I wasn’t because I know how funny my children and their friends find it. And trust me, I am no Scrooge. I have Christmas decorations all throughout my house, and have an unhealthy obsession with Snowmen. But I’m tired! I work and have enough craziness going on during the holidays, and I’m losing my mind with this stupid Elf making messes on top of everyone else in my house. Between the holiday parties, volunteering at my son’s school, nannying, working, blogging, Christmas shopping and decorating, cookie swaps, and scouring the Internet for ideas on what my Elf can suspend himself from next, when exactly should I sleep?
I have been THAT MOM – sipping wine in bed with her laptop at 11:36p.m. on Pinterest, researching creative ways for ‘Frosty’ (yes, our Elf is named after Frosty the Snowman) to show our children he is indeed alive and well by having snowball (marshmallow) fights and swinging from the ceiling fans by dental floss and toilet paper.
And by the way, how can I expect my children to behave while watching this naughty Elf do the exact opposite of everything we teach? My toddler is already scaling the Christmas tree, curtains, and I can tell he’s plotting on reaching the mantle at some point next month if he can help it. Let’s not even get into teaching my almost two-year-old not to touch the Elf. You know, because once you touch the Elf, its magic is gone. In the past, I have physically picked up our ‘touched’ Elf with oven mitts to ship him back to the North Pole (because I panicked when my niece picked it up and my son thought the magic was gone – can you say meltdown?!), and written a letter asking Santa to please restore his magic for us.
Is he cute? Kind of. But I sure wish he’d at least bring some cookies with him, or learn to clean up after himself. If either one of those things happened, I’d openly welcome this Christmas tradition.
Why does the Elf have to move EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT? Can’t it just sit still and just look over my children like a cheery, less creepy (but still pretty creepy) Chuckie doll reporting back to Santa? Seriously, I don’t get it. Almost every single child in my son’s school has an Elf at home, and they all exchange stories of what their Elf did last night over their pizza and juice box lunches, giggling at what is really their mother’s imagination and whatever popped up in their Pinterest search results.
Teachers are starting to implement the Elf on the Shelf into their classrooms, too. Now that Max has one in his classroom, I don’t feel as pressured to have one in the house causing mischief. Our Christmas seems to be just as magical and fun without him, though, if we’re being honest here.
Our New Tradition
My family has started a new ‘tradition’ of sorts. The Elf has NOT made an appearance this year (partly because when he was re-boxed last year, he may or may not have been intentionally lost…) and while my son was sad for a day, he already has an Elf in his music class and main classroom. My son’s music teacher had a problem with one of her second graders occasionally shouting the ‘F’ word apparently, and thought an Elf was necessary…I know what you’re thinking. “How in the world?!”
We have implemented the Santa Cam, which is a beautiful ornament you hang on your tree, looks like a camera, and actually enforces some kind of rules on behaving. Because let’s face it, that Elf’s face isn’t making me cower in the fear of getting coal in my stocking like a camera straight from the freaking North Pole.
*Click on the picture to buy your own! We got ours from Magnolia Jacks [Etsy] and loooooooove it!
I don’t condemn anyone who actually has the time and energy to adopt the Elf On The Shelf into their Christmas traditions, but I feel that it just isn’t for everyone. Myself included. In my experience with our Santa Cam, Max seems to believe his every move is being streamed straight to the Bearded Fat Man himself. You just stick it on the tree and let it do its own ‘magic‘ for your child’s behavior ;). My son even goes up to the camera, and whispers into it.
Here’s the latest secret to Santa:
“I’m sorry I squirted toothpaste into Jax’s hair…”
Just kidding, I don’t actually hear what he tells Santa, but I’m sure there’s been a couple of scenarios he’d like to explain to St. Nick…like the toothpaste incident.
This year, we have been sticking to making Gingerbread houses, crafting ornaments to replace our glass ones that Jax loves to knock off the tree, and making memories with our family and friends! Here’s our #gingerbreadhouse this year!
What are your thoughts? If you have an Elf – do you love it, hate it, or put up with it?